A Google search for 'bachelor party' is, frankly, pathetic. Every time we search for how to anything that has to do with the topc, and eHow or some rinky-dinky wicki site comes up, we die a little bit inside. So, we here at Salty Vixen Stories & More out to create The Ultimate Bachelor Party Guide in order to right this egregious wrong. Herein, you will find everything you wondered about, everything you didn't know you should be wondering about, and all the answers to all the questions you wonder if you should ask or not. It's, frankly, pretty wonderful.
Table of Contents
Page 10 -- Origin Story of the Bachelor Party: Like so many other awesome things, bachelor parties started in the uber-manly warrior society of Sparta in ancient Greece. Is this madness? No, actually, it wasn't even close to the madness that occurs in modern day bachelor parties.
Page 9 -- Your Responsibilities: There's an interesting piece of folk wisdom that says the bachelor party is not for the bridegroom, but for the bachelors around him. It's undeniably true that the bachelors-in-tow are going to be able to put their pedals a little closer to the metal than the groom, but you're going nuts in order to see him off.
Page 8 -- Location & Transport: There are two obvious BP hubs: New Orleans and Vegas. They're cliche, but they're cliche because they're excellent and provide a (near) fool-proof environ for bachelor party debauchery. They have everything you need: girls, booze, food, lights, debauchery, and a pretty relaxed municipal police department.
Page 7 -- The Uninvited: There are a few types of guys that you need to avoid for step two. Here are the archetypes of those men and how best to recognize and appropriately dispose of them.
Page 6 -- Bacchanalian Fare (food and drink): Here, we'll list the types of intoxicants you need in increasing toxicity; food, drinks, girls, and everything else.
Page 5 -- The Entertainment: You've got to do something when you're not in a restaurant, in a club, or recovering from either. Here's a few non-traditional options to get your motor running.
Page 4 -- A Brief Word On Strippers: Women of negotiable affections are a tricky lot. It's important to think with your head and your head. If you don't think with your head, then you're not going to have a good time at all -- you'll just be worrying about hourly rates and extras. But if you don't think with your head, you're going to be saddled with outlandish hourly rates and crazy extras.
Page 3 -- Contract For Participants: Make sure they all sign this...
Page 2 -- Common Mistakes: You've learned a lot so far. But, we've mostly just talked about what you ought to be doing. What about those things you ought not to do? Well, we've compiled them for you in internet-friendly list form, right here.
Page 1 -- The Code Of Silence: The code of silence for the bachelor party doesn’t necessarily mean that anything overly-debaucherous is going to happen. Not that we’re ruling that out. Surely it’s a possibility...
