Dear Salty Vixen, My husband of 5 years is having an affair. We have no children. I have talked to him and we both realize that we both let the flame burn out in our marriage. I did leave him for about 4 months because he was having an affair. But, when I found out that she started sleeping in my home it really upset me. So, I went back home, not only because it is my home, but also because I love my husband very much. He says he is not sure that he wants a divorce and shows me that he cares about me dearly, but he will not leave his girlfriend. I honestly think she is a bit of a fatal attraction. But I think if my husband really cared about me he would leave her. Would it be terribly wrong to continue living with him for financial reasons? He sees nothing wrong with him sleeping with his girlfriend every once and awhile then coming home to me. ~ No Dignity Left
Dear No Dignity Left,
In all honesty, you need to do what is right for you. Finances may be important, but how well will your heart take it each time he comes back from being with his girlfriend? This could very well be a slow spiral into personal destruction. The heart can only let so much pain in before it becomes too hardened. If conciliation is not an option here, then you probably need to think seriously about divorce. A loveless marriage will tear away at you piece by piece.
The best advice I can give you is to get the book, The Complete Guide for Men and Women Divorcing (click here to buy it on Amazon) by Melvin Belli and Mel Krantzler. It is written by both an attorney and a psychologist and is one of the few books that addresses your legal situation as well as the new state of your heart. I'm sure you'll find it quite eye-opening.
You might also seriously consider talking to a divorce attorney to find out what options you have. Just because your heart may be broken, it doesn't mean you can't play it smart.
XOXO,
