The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Anything other than face-to-face is considered illegal.
The Romans would crush a first time rapist’s gonads between two stones
In Florida having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
The Asiatic Huns punished convicted male rapists and adulterers with castration. Female adulterers were merely cut in two.
It’s illegal to have sex without a condom in Nevada.
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it’s against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth.
You’re forbidden from talking dirty in your wife’s ear if you live in Willowdale, Oregon.
There’s a law against masturbating while watching two people have sex in a car in Clinton, Oklahoma.
It’s illegal to have sex with a corpse anywhere in the United States.
Fairbanks, Alaska has a law on the books saying that it’s illegal for moose to have sex on the city sidewalks.
Not to be outdone, Kingsville, Texas forbids pigs from having sex on Kingsville airport property.
Adultery laws currently exist in 37 states, with a couple of women recently arrested and convicted on the mere accusation of adultery by their husbands.
As recently as 1990, these States had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal Sex and the use of dildos: Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Washington D.C.
The vow of a Roman vestal virgin lasted thirty years and if she engaged in sex before then, she was punished by being buried alive.
An 18th century French prostitute could be spared punishment if she were willing to join the opera.
Believe it or not, in June 1990, three Connecticut residents were arrested in two separate incidents and charged with adultery, a misdemeanor crime punishable by a maximum sentence of one year in prison and a $1,000 fine.
During the Middle Ages, if you were guilty of bestiality you’d be burned at the stake, along with the other party to your crime.
In 100 AD, the ancient Germanic tribe, the Teutons would punish anyone caught as a prostitute by suffocating them in excrement.
Taking the act of adultery to even more painful heights, the Serni of Brazil take a guilty wife, whip her and then expose the wounds to fire ants.
The early Christian church forbade couples from having sex on Wednesdays, Fridays and of course, Sundays.
In Krakow, Poland it’s not only a crime to have sex with animals, but three-time offenders are shot in the head.
It’s a sin and a crime to have sex with any male animal in Lebanon. However, it’s perfectly okay to have sex with female animals.
Six thousand years ago, Egyptians, the first to punish sex crimes with castration, would completely castrate a male convicted of rape. A women found guilty of adultery would find herself without a nose, the thinking being that without a nose, it’d be harder to find someone to share in her adulterous ways.
In London, it’s illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle.
During the 1600s In Massachusetts, a teenage boy was executed for confessing to having had sex with two horses, two cows, and four sheep.
In Saudi Arabia, adultery is a capital offense punishable by death by stoning.
Up until 1884, a Victorian-era woman could be sent to prison for denying a husband sex.
In Middle Eastern Islamic Countries it is a sin and a crime to eat a lamb that you’ve had sex with.
While not as final as the ancient Israelite punishment for adultery (stoning), Greek men still had their fair share of discomfort when their pubic hair was removed and a large radish was shoved up their rectum.
